There is a wide spectrum of meanings when it comes to anger management issues. Some individuals reach out because they see their anger come out of nowhere and want to understand why it’s coming up and find a new way of relating. For some it’s a very internalized anger that bothers them. Others, the anger comes out as pure rage to where it has become physical, emotional, and/or verbal. Our role is not to be bring judgment on the past, but to create a place to be honest about the past struggles and find new ways of relating and connecting. There are three primary approaches we take with working through anger issues.
First, we build and teach a conversational skill based approach called Non-violent communication (NVC). It helps provide practice tools of how to approach conversations where you can still share your needs and wants while de-escalating the conflict.
Second, we spend a lot of work around mediation and mindfulness. NVC is not helpful if we do not have a practice and skills around learning to self-regulate and self-sooth. We have found both go hand-in-hand. The purpose behind a meditation practice is that it helps us slow down and learn to be present to the events, people, and circumstances around us so that we can engage in a new way.
inner child work
Lastly, our experience has been that the anger is just a symptom of a much deeper unresolved hurt. We cannot heal what we do not name. So, some of the process time is spent reflecting on one’s childhood and how you related with others and what unmet needs the current emotion of anger is touching on from the past.