Couples Counseling

What Brings Couples Into Couples Counseling? 

It is often heard from couples that are in despair - frightened that their relationship is beyond help. Their communications have broken down, trust has eroded, and sex is almost nonexistent. Sometimes even fundamentally strong couples may be facing a specific crisis and want the aid of a professional.

Partners come into couples counseling or marriage counseling with a variety of issues to address, including communication & conflict resolution, sexual & intimacy issues, fighting and anger problems, identity and role conflict, dependence vs. independence, religion, ethics and values, jealousy, parenting, infidelity, money and finances, addiction, family and in-law struggles, step family issues, gender roles, infertility / adoption, and many more. 

Approach to Couples Counseling:

Couples therapy is typically extremely collaborative and the counselor is usually very involved in the session at all times and will honestly communicate what they see, feel, and think. The counselor begins by establishing a vision for the relationship, which incorporates the ideals of both members. It is the hope that their office will then become a safe-haven, where problems can be discussed without fear of pain, judgment, or retribution. Consultation time is used as a living laboratory, a place where the couple and therapist can explore different styles, interventions, and techniques. These can be used to change hurtful and destructive patterns in the relationship and create a stronger, more open and meaningful connection. What is expected from my clients? Expectations include a serious commitment to the counseling process, an ability to be open when looking at what you bring into the relationship (both positive and negative) without defensiveness, and a commitment to altering your own ineffectual behaviors. When these conditions are met, there is an excellent chance that a counselor can help you get your relationship back on track and to an even stronger place.

Developing Communication Skills:

Healthy communication is a key ingredient for a successful relationship. Successful couples know how to communicate in a way that can actually improve their relationship. Couples counseling will help you understand the ways in which you presently communicate and then teach you new skills and solutions to improve the communication you have with each other.

Working together as a team, a counselor can guide you to:

  • Identify negative patterns that are hindering the quality of your relationship and friendship

  • Learn how to stop blaming each other so you can work through problems without power struggles

  • Recognize the 'cause & effect' patterns in your relationship

  • Find healthy ways to communicate and relate to each other, which will strengthen the quality of your partnership

  • Get through the difficult phase when 'the business of love' (daily stressors) interferes with romance and connection

  • Reconnect to the love and passion of your earlier relationship