Spousal Recovery from Affairs
If you are searching and have come to this page, you are probably in some significant pain and possible trauma. There is not a week that goes by that we are not sitting with someone in this raw place. It can be a very lonely place and spousal betrayal calls into question “what we thought was real” and what is actually real. So many come in feeling not themselves and report feeling "a bit crazy." We are here to advocate that you are not crazy, instead your whole security system has been called into question. Most score high on the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder scale. We see our role in this space as making room for the grieving and pain and slowly finding ways to get yourself back together and also create / hold boundaries for the spouse that betrayed your trust. We have found that most couples stay together and actually improve and have a better relationship, but it takes a lot of hard work.
We have found that resourcing is probably the best and most helpful way to provide help during this time. It is not about fixing you, but instead helping you find more of yourself again, after so much was taken. As a result, we have found it most helpful for spouses to have a list of good resources to consider during this time. Everyone we meet going through betrayal is looking for answers…we can’t provide answers, only the other spouse can. But we can direct you to various resources outside of therapy that can help…
Ways we can help
We have found in working with couples that if they are willing to do the work, then things can improve. Its been our experience that most of the sessions at first revolve around questions, truth, anger and pain. Much of our early sessions are spent talking about creating a recovery plan for each couple. There is no one plan but instead we work to find the wisdom of what each couple needs due to each couples unique circumstances.